I’m fully aware that the mere fact of me even putting these feelings into words is going to backfire because that’s how this stuff works. You do something, you notice something about how you’re doing it, you say it out loud, and then it all crumbles to crap. Well, I’m taking that chance because I have been kicking the shit out my intermediate algorithm scripting challenges on FCC. Like, to the point where I feel like I must be doing something wrong because I keep running through them so quickly. My solutions are nowhere near the most elegant or what more experienced coders might choose to do–but they have all worked and I have done them on my own.
Cheers to me (while it lasts).
I have two more interviews this week. One today and one tomorrow. And, let me just say, I am sick and tired to death of interviewing. I’m still in interview processes for about 6 companies at the moment, almost all remote positions (since I do plan on getting my ass back to the Best coast asap), but the one I am going to interview today is office-based. So, we’ll see. Can’t really afford to be choosey right now. And as great as having all this free time to learn and develop my skills has been, I’m ready to get back to work, start saving, and take my life off pause.
So the agenda for today is:
- Researching and learning about CRMs
- Learning MailChimp
- Send follow-up e-mails to interviewers
- More job applications
- Workout (which has been incredible in conjunction with marijuana for my anxiety)
I can see light at the end of this fucking tunnel and I’m about ready to start running towards it. After everything that’s happened this past year–the roadtrip, New York, notRelevant, and now career switching–I am literally rebuilding my life from the ground up. This started as a break-up hack but it’s grown into something much greater. This is my future. This is the beginning of the person I will become for the rest of my life.
I’m scared. Of course, I’m scared. I’m scared because I’ve done this before. I’ve taken my life into my own hands before and was blown away with what I was able to accomplish. My own capability scares me. This feels different than before, or maybe it’s the same, I don’t know–but something is happening and I am at a crossroads. This is one of those rare moments in life where whatever you decide to do impacts whatever comes next.
I’m scared as shit. But I’m doing it anyways. That’s all any of us can really do.